


Do I Wanna Know?

by e_katara



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 12:35:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3810637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_katara/pseuds/e_katara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I saw you flirting with that guy at the bar."</p><p>"Yeah, but nothing happened. After you left, he invited me home with him, and I didn't go."</p><p>A pause.</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"He wasn't you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do I Wanna Know?

> _Have you no idea that you're in deep?_    
>  _I dreamt about you nearly every night this week_    
>  _How many secrets can you keep?_

"Just this once," Monty murmured against his lips.

Miller pulled back just a little bit, enough to separate their mouths so he could drag his along Monty's jaw to his ear and then press kisses down his neck.

"Okay. Sure."

"I mean it."

Miller mumbled a frantic "mmhmm" into his neck. It wasn't going to be just this once. Both of them knew it. But if Monty needed to say that to feel okay with this for now, it was alright with him. 

Monty's hands were rubbing through his short-buzzed hair, and it felt like heaven. "Jesus, Miller, do that again," he breathed quietly, and Miller obliged, grazing his teeth over the pulse point on his neck.

"I've been dreaming about this for weeks, Monty."

He felt Monty's hands slide to his cheeks, pushing his head away so they could meet each other's eyes. He opened his mouth, but Miller didn't want to hear it, so he closed the distance between their mouths again, relieved when Monty relaxed into the kiss.

> _Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?_    
>  _'Cause I always do_    
>  _Maybe I'm too busy being yours to fall for somebody new_

"You're drunk."

He was.

"I miss you, Monty."

"No, you just miss getting laid. Don't even try it, Mill. I  _saw_  you flirting with that guy at the bar."

"Yeah, but nothing happened. After you left, he invited me home with him, and I didn't go."

A pause.

"Why?"

"He wasn't you."

He shouldn't have said that. Monty wasn't ready to hear it, and he knew it, but he was drunk, and he was lonely, and god, he just wanted them to be together.

Monty sighed. "I'm going to hang up, now. Go to sleep, Miller."

> _So have you got the guts?_    
>  _Been wondering if your heart's still open and if so I wanna know what time it shuts_

Monty had called him earlier, asking if he wanted to hang out, just the two of them. He'd told himself not to get his hopes up, but when he'd knocked on the door, Monty had dragged him in, kissed him, and started unbuttoning his shirt.

They were getting dressed, when Monty said, quietly, "I think you should leave."

"Monty, please..."

He shepherded him towards the door. "Go home, Miller," he said, quietly, slowly pushing the it closed.

He grabbed the door, keeping it open. "Stop being a fucking coward, Monty."

Monty crossed his arms over his stomach. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes, you do. I love you. You know I do, and you love me too, whether you admit it or not. You're just shutting me out because you're afraid, and I get it, I do, but you can't run forever, Monty."

"I'm not running from anything," he muttered, staring at the floor.

Miller was fighting not to cry. He reached out and cupped Monty's cheek, trying to nudge him into making eye contact. He did, hesitantly, and the fear and pain in his eyes tied Miller's stomach into a knot. "Yes, you are. You're running from me. From us. You want this relationship just as much as I do, but you're afraid, and I get that, but... I can't do this anymore. I can't. You bring me close to you, and I come running every time because I'm so fucking in love with you that it's ridiculous, but then you push me away and sprint in the other direction. I can't keep doing this. It hurts too much."

Tears were rolling down Monty's cheeks. "Go home, Miller," he repeated, quietly.

"Fine. But I'm not running after you anymore."

This time, when Monty tried to close the door, he let him.

> _Simmer down and pucker up_    
>  _I'm sorry to interrupt. It's just I'm constantly on the cusp of trying to kiss you_

They'd been fighting for weeks. Neither of them told anyone why, but they already knew. It was kind of obvious, really. Any time they were in a room together, an argument broke out. It was awful.

He heard a knock on his door, went to answer, and there he was, staring at the ground, running a hand through his hair. He didn't look like he'd slept recently.

"I don't want to fight you anymore, Monty."

"I'm not here to fight."

"Well then what do you want?"

He bit his lip. "I wanted to say that I'm sorry. You were right. I was being a coward, and I was fucking with your feelings, and it wasn't okay, and I'm sorry. I was - I  _am_  in love with you, and I have been for awhile, and I didn't handle it well. At all. And I know you probably don't love me anymore, and I don't expect forgiveness, but I do hope that you'll be able to -"

He didn't get to finish, because Miller had grabbed his waist, pulled him in, and kissed him. 

**Author's Note:**

> i was 100% planning on writing fluffy making out and then my fingers typed angst and then i was like "oh" and so here we are.


End file.
